RUG
DETECTOR
The one machine on this site that prints something true. Trustless. Gasless. Useful. We apologise.
what it does
Every other page here prints hope. This one prints verdicts. It watches every token launched on Robinhood Chain — Uniswap v2, v3, v4 and Pons — scores it in minutes, simulates a real sell, and sounds the horn when a deployer runs with the loot.
Nothing on this page is a promise. That is the whole point of it.
how it works
- Watch. Factory events on all four venues land on the board the block they happen. 9,000 launches a day. Nobody reads 9,000 contracts; the machine does.
- Score. 11 checks: source verification, owner powers, hidden mint / blacklist / tax switches, LP lock, holder concentration, deployer history — and a sell simulation that actually executes the token's transfer logic. If you cannot sell it, it says TRAP before you buy it.
- Keep watching. A score is a moment, not a guarantee. Pools stay under watch after grading; LP pulls and deployer dumps move the card to Busted with the tx, and the deployer's wallet gets a counter it never loses.
the verdicts
| passed | nothing is pointing a gun at you right now. not a promise — a status. |
| too new | a bonding curve in its first half hour has no liquidity and no holders by construction. we say "wait" instead of lying green. |
| medium · high · critical | 0–100 risk, higher is worse. unlocked, pullable LP alone floors a token at 50 — the classic rug setup never reads low. |
| trap | the sell simulation reverted. you can buy it. you cannot sell it. we tried for you. |
| rugged · dumped | it already happened. LP gone, or the deployer moved ≥5% of supply in one window. card goes to Busted with the evidence. |
for machine holders
The detector warns everyone for free. Holders of a Hopium Machine — the NFT that was promised to do nothing — get the first thing it has ever done:
| everyone · free | token checks with the full 11-check dossier · the live board with RUGGED / DUMPED badges · deployer counters |
| machine holders | 25% off credits · 1 free credit per machine every month · the repeat-offenders list · the full Busted archive · 5× API limits |
| union card · veterans | a machine that served a full 7-day STAKING™ shift holds a union card, for life: 3 free credits a month instead of 1 · the introductory credit price locked in forever · deep scans for 1 credit · +3 watchlist slots per veteran. the card belongs to the machine — sell it and the seniority goes with it. |
| foreman | 5+ veteran machines in one wallet run the floor: uncapped watchlists · 25× API limits. see the union registry for who served. |
One machine = one license. Holding more machines means more free credits, not more truth. The truth is the same for everyone — seniority just makes it cheaper.
credits & $HOPIUM
The paid lanes run on credits. 1 credit = $0.50, paid in $HOPIUM at the live rate. This is the only use $HOPIUM has ever had. We are as surprised as you are.
| deep scan | 2 credits · the deployer's full history across every launch, who funded him, whom he funds, every LP move on the token |
| watchlist slot | 1 credit / 30 days · token or deployer, personal Discord alerts. 3 slots free. |
| API pack | 1 credit · 1,000 requests for your bot |
Introductory price — credit pricing will rise as the detector grows. Credits already bought keep their value.
faq
| is this satire? | no. every other page on this site is. this one is the control group. |
| does it scan $HOPIUM? | yes, with the same 11 checks and zero exceptions. it wears an ECOSYSTEM badge so you know it is ours. a rug detector that exempts its own token is not a rug detector. |
| can it be wrong? | yes. a passed verdict means "sellable and clean at simulation time". an owner can flip a switch later — which is why pools stay under watch and the horn exists. |
| who runs it? | the same people who built 6,969 machines that print hope. we wanted one that prints something else. |